Is it ever ok to invite yourself to an event?

Hell yes…and no. Sometimes it’s ok to just rock up and pretend your invite got lost in the post, or your friends, colleagues, even family forgot to invite you. There are occasions where people won't explicitly invite you to something, but just assume you’ll be there.

Maybe they forgot to tell you, or assumed the invitation was obvious, even if it was unspoken, or they just missed adding your name to a mass email or Facebook message that was sent out. If they are a good friend or family, I think it is safe to assume they don’t need to give you a formal invite. 

Then there are times when you could be desperate for an invite to an event but nothing landed in your inbox and everyone is going. In that case sometimes even if inviting yourself to something isn't the slickest way to end up at the event, it's still worth a go if it means you get to go somewhere you really wanted to attend.

However there are just some occasions and times when it's not ok to invite yourself. Like to a wedding, you would definitely not show up to a wedding or reception. If you were not invited, cop it on the chin and move on (there is nothing else for it).

Here are a few reasons you should not invite yourself to an event:

• People just consider it rude. If someone hasn't been invited to something, it’s considered poor taste to turn up.
• It can put the person organising the event in an awkward position to be asked if they can be invited. What if they didn't want that person to come, or wanted to keep the get together small? If put on the spot, they may feel too uncomfortable saying no.
• If someone invites themselves over they may have to entertain them when they'd rather be doing something else. 
• Don’t make a habit of doing it, or take it for granted as a way to hang out with people.

Times when it’s not cool to invite yourself along:

• Inviting yourself over to a person’s house is frowned upon. It imposes too much on the person who lives there. 
• Anything that takes preparation on the part of the host or organiser, or even costs them money – a big no, no.
• Don't be the third wheel in a couple situation, or small close-knit groups who want to spend quality time together. If the event involves just your one friend, and a handful of their friends you don't really know, I wouldn’t be tagging along.
• Camping, festivals, holidays.  It's one thing to show up at a party, it's another to insert yourself into a four-day holiday with them.

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Jo Kane

Events Gold Coast